Monday, October 15, 2018

Marvin X and Dr. Lonnie Smith



How many poems must I write about Hammond B3 and Me?

There is no me without Hammond B3
7th Street sacred music
For me anyway
Don’t care bout nobody else
B3 stole my  soul
No matter jazz blues gospel rock n roll
B3 my  West Oakland chil
dhood
West Oakland Blues B3
For me
West Oakland Jazz
B3 for me
Restaurant B3
Pool Hall Juke Box B3
Barber shop
Shoeshine stand B3

but I never heard Lower Bottom name for Pine Street
Everybody knew Pine Street was end on 7th Street
End of West Oakland
End of Amtrack Train line, 16th Street Station,
Ho’ Stroll too
Ho Hotel by hour
Cross from Amtrack Station
Pine Street Ho' stroll
after Pine was Army Base, Navy Supply Center
Used to sell Jet Ebony Magazines up and down 7th
Past John Singers
Pullman Porters Union Hall upstairs
Past the Barn eatery
Easter's Orbit Room
Way past Slim Jenkins Club
Josephine Baker was there for months/years it seemed
parents talked of Josephine Josephine
I could only see her pic outside Slim Jenkins Restaurant
Used to see ad for Earl Father Hines too
wondered who he was
nobody told me how great he was
but parents praised Josephine Baker
I loved her before I knew her
West Oakland
Harlem of West Ceoast
Lived 7th and Campbell
Across street Lincoln Theatre
Mr. Freeman managed
black films advertised
scared to see black films
childhood white supremacy mind dead
wondered in my ignut negro mind
what these f'ilms bout
ain't tarzan jane
ain't Lone Ranger Tonto
I wanna see white man kill Indians
didn't know I was part Native American
Granny from Oklahoma Territory
Granny wasn't religious
She was spiritual
told me and my brother don't shoot birds on Sunday with beebee gun
Granny used to feed anyone white black stop at her door in projects
say they hungry
spiritual not religious
didn't go to church spiritual
told my brother boy you go end up in pen
Granny right
brother spent whole life in pen
deprived me of older brother love
til his last days
lived round corner from me
Lake Merritt
got to know him a little in last days
we put his remains in Lake Merritt
Put mine there too with my brother
A real nigga
just don't cross him
then you got a problem
killer man loan shark killer
shot his boss in back of head
boss owed him money wouldn't pay
love my brother
he was better human being than I until crossed
before he joined ancestors
he was family ATM
after no more drinking gambling poker except on internet
in the end he was brother I always wanted him to be
In the end I think he appreciated me
even if he didn't understand me
and who understands me
I don't even understand myself
Like everybody he tolerated me though overwhelmed
around the corner from me
but I gave him his space
private cell
wanted him to be at peace with himself
no stress from me
family stress took him down into the dungeon for the last time
came to Oakland from Seattle
picked him up at bus station
told him I wanted to show him love
said he didn't know love
wanted to live in SRO hotel
I said no brother
ain't dropping you at SRO hotel
I took him home with me til he found a place with his Section 8
God blessed me and him to live around the corner from each other in his last days
up from Lake Merritt
did it matter
we never walked the lake together
did it matter
I never went over his apartment to watch games on TV
never went over for small talk
I don't know small talk with men or women
I know he liked privacy as I do
He almost never came to my apartment around the corner
I didn't trip
I honored him as older brother even though only one year older
It was enough joy when he came to 14th and Broadway
to get his medicine cigarettes
he would come sit at my Academy of da Corner
He saw black people bring donations
he thought I was loan shark
but I gave credit for books
he saw people pay me
I never kept tabs like loan sharks
he was amazed at the beauty of black people
most of us don't know the royal beauty of black people
no matter our negrocities
black royalty
kings queens
gods goddesses
parading in persona of rut gut niggas
still royal pushing shopping cart love
rut gut wine love
bipolar love lasting longer than black bourgeoisie fake love
golden handcuff love
kick my ass but I'm staying love
too many perks love

In the end
cancer too him out
Told us to burn him
put ashes in lake
we did

put me there too with my brother
don't care bout Northern Cradle versus Southern Cradle burial customs
throw my ashes in lake with my brother I came to love in our last days
thankful I got to love his brotherly love
if only for a moment
no matter
life is a moment
nothing lasts forever
At least I didn't cross him
showed him my man hand
didn't come like no punk ass bitch nigga
ain't gonna speak on other relatives
me and my brother prison niggas
we know ride yo own beef
no man can bear burdens of another
I knew he was killer
San Quentin Soledad Folsom
McNeil Island
California Youth Authority beginning
We both in Fresno Juvenile Hall
Asked Mama when judge said  my grades saved me from CYA
Grades didn't save brother
Outside  Fresno County Juvenile Hall
asked Mama why she wasn't crying'
Mama said, "Son, I might not be crying on outside but I'm crying inside."
One time Daddy came to jail and cried to see me in handcuffs for juvenile delinquency behavior.
Burglary, car thief, stealing gas, gang fighting, yes, honor student, the reason judge didn't send me to CYA with my brother.


Meanwhile back in West Oakland
niggas couldn't visit Lake Merritt
except on 4th of July and other Holidays
my brother said even then we could only occupy special sections of the lake

We called Lincoln Theatre  flea house rat house
sometimes couldn't put feet on floor for rats
hated going there
didn't want to go home fleas biting me
Niggas could go to the Lux
less fleas
couldn't go to the Paramount Fox
Mama said me and my brother had to go together
I had to suffer fleas rats at Lincoln

Granny covered me with Eucalyptus leafs from Daddy's shop
we lived in back of  parent's florist shop
Seventh and Campbell
Chinese grocery across the street north
Dangott's Loan across the street east
Loraines's greasy spoon next to Lincoln
hamburgers and fries  tswimming in grease
soulfood grease
good heart attack grease
fries good heart attack soul food too
Love's Loraine's
leaving the Lincolm
or going in

10/12/18

No comments:

Post a Comment