The Marvin X Family Memorial for three first cousins in Sacramento today

The Marvin X Jackmon/Murrill/Conley/Benjamin/Lee 

Family Memorial for Cousins Stan, Faye and Sandra Murrill 

Sacramento 4/8/19

"My God, be strong my brother!"--Dr. Cornel West to Marvin X on learning of the transition of X's cousins in Sacramento, West's hometown. FYI, West's cousin, Kwame Satterfield, is Marvin's stepson. What a small and wonderful world!

 Stan the Man!

Faye and Sandra Murrill

This morning I rode to Sacramento with my daughter, Attorney Amira Jackmon, and granddaughter Naima to attend the memorial service for my three first cousins, Stan, Faye and Sandra Murrill, siblings who died within three weeks from various causes. We arrived in Sac at the hall where the memorial took place. My daughter was hesitant about attending as she doesn't know her paternal cousins, but once there she fell into the groove of discovering her relatives on my side of the family. She knew a few of them but not most of them, especially those her age and younger. My granddaughter hardly knew any of them. 

Marvin X, Sister Debbie and Brother Tommy

As I sat next to my sister Debbie with our baby brother, Tommy, I asked Naima did she know Tommy is my brother, She replied yes since she had attended a party at his house over the weekend in Sacramento. My cousin Rodney Murrill came over to our table and chatted. We used to look so much alike people confused me with him and him with me. Then I embraced one of my cousin Kathy's daughters, Amber, that so resembled my sister Suzy it was frightening. DNA is a mother! My nephew Monti Hall and his son, Chris, sat down at our table. Although Monti Hall interviewed me for a grad school paper for his MSW at USC, and I thought so highly of the paper that I made it the preface to my Notes of Artistic Freedom Fighter Marvin X, Monti had no seen a printed copy of the book so I gave him a copy and his son, Chris, as well. My brother Tommy immediately asked Monti to autograph his copy. In the deep structure of this family conversation is the fact that my brother Tommy, my nephew Monti and my son, Marvin K, grew up as brothers, and all three became estranged from me for various reasons, partly political because although I refused to serve in the US military, Tommy and Monti joined the Navy and Army respectively and essentially became right wing Negroes who wanted nothing to do with my radical ideological notions. But Monti reconciled with me enough to interview me for his MSW. Tommy told one of my sisters, "I love my brother, Marvin, we just opposites!" My son, Marvin, doesn't deal with me at all. No matter!

The memorial service began with my departed cousin Faye's son, Byron, officiating. Byron noted that his mother had taught him how to handle details, and he learned well from his mother. For example, Byron is a manager at the DMV in Oakland. When I came to the DMV to renew my driving license, Bryon was on his job. When a clerk told me I needed a certain amount of money to renew, and I didn't have the money on my, Byron said, "Cuz, don't come to the DMV with no money!" I departed to the bank to get some money and returned to handle my bizness. 

Byron told the story of being in the car with his mother and aunt, Sandra. He said one was hot and one was cold, so he didn't know what to do. He thought of turning on the heater and letting the window down simultaneously. Perhaps the sisters were going through menopause. And then he spoke his uncle Stan II, the wild man, hustler, revolutionary, Stan the Man, Butterball, the man everyone loved because he had a heart of gold and was, in the family tradition, raw and blunt to the max. But Stan had a certain charisma that was overwhelming. Byron and other nephews and nieces spoke on his ability to attract people, especially, women with his charming good looks, Jesus hair style and clean dressing. 

Byron was followed by Ron Conley, maternal uncle of the deceased, but he was overwhelmed by the moment. Two nephews testified how their aunts treated them but most especially how Stan gave them manhood training when they visited for summers. Let's be clear, this family drama began in Fresno, no matter the Murrills, Conleys, Jackmons, and even the Lee's, although they mostly lived in Modesto where the oldest Murrill brother, Adam, resided. Marvin's favorite cousin was Carol Lee, daughter of Adam. As a teenager, Marvin used to party with his cousins in Modesto. They were into Jazz, Johnny Walker Red, MJQ, Ahmad Jamal, as well as Sam Cooke. The last time Marvin saw Sam Cooke was at a concert in Stockton that he attended with his Modesto cousins. One of the Modesto cousins came to him at the memorial, reminding him who she was and gave him the health status of his Modesto cousins. 

The truth is that many family members who had lived in the central valley, Fresno, Modesto, Madera, Merced, eventually moved up the valley  to Sacramento, including the Murrill's, Lee's, Benjamin's, Conley's and Jackmon's.

Nieces told of how detailed Faye was, how into fashion Sandra was, who told them the seasonal fashion colors that they cared nothing about. But even on dialysis, they said Sandra went in fashion. Cousin Connie's sons, Alphonso and Eric, told of how their Uncle Stan gave them game and manhood training. 

Murrill/Jackmon family, left to right: LaTanya Murrill Toney, Amira Jackmon, Rodney Murrill, Debra Jackmon, Patsy Murrill, Marvin X, Tommy Murrill Willis, Monti Hall, Naima Jackmon Douglas

After I spoke saying my cousins were like brothers and sisters, somebody shouted, "Sometimes better than brothers and sisters!" I continued, "But my uncle Stan was not only the single father of six children, he was my surrogate father as well, the man determined to make me a man in the absence of my father. Further, in adulthood, when I visited Sacramento as a writer, Stan, Sandra, Faye and their siblings supported me. When I was a featured author at the Sacramento Black Book Fair, Stan kicked it with me at my hotel suite, but when he requested I come spend the night on his couch, I declined his hospitality although I loved him madly, yet, I told the audience, Stan loved me more than I loved myself. He spoke of me constantly, even in my absence. He distributed my books in his apartment complex and throughout the hood. He took me to his neighbor's apartment, Fillmore Slim, who purchased my books and has been a friend ever since. I ended the comments section of the service with a recitation of Surah Al Fatihah in Arabic, then the repast began.


We give thanks and praise to Bryon Murrill for organizing this memorial under great stress, trauma and grief. We pray our family will heal in due time. As the Qur'an says, "After difficulty comes ease!"
--Marvin X
4/8/19