He was old sick and crazy, approaching eighty, suffering a multiple diseases from a toxic life in America, the toll was mental and physical. The physical included heart disease that may have derived from a broken heart, the disappointment of life, of wife, ungrateful bastard children, betrayal by friends, lost and turned out in the dope world. Old sick crazy. The mental and physical were indivisible, a bitter bag of toxicity. Toxic white supremacy took its toll on him. He fought back with Elijah Muhammad's Supreme Wisdom. Elijah taught him he was a god not a nigga. A nigga was a tool and fool of the white man, the devil.
He studied hard Supreme Wisdom. Wanted to share the knowledge but no one wanted hear him, dismissed him as a crazy old man tripping about seeing the Mother Ship every night in the sky. He was convinced the Mother Ship would one day descend and pick him up for the ride home, back to Paradise from which he had been kidnapped centuries ago. Some time he doubted the slave ships, the whip lynching rape. He said most of us were already here in the Americas, been here thousands of years. Here long before Columbus. We and the Native Americans were one, the same people. After a time some of his friends believed him, though his wife was a doubter like Job's wife and Lot's wife. She felt he was old sick and crazy. She fled to the church and prayed to Jesus her man would stop believing all that foolishness. She was embarrassed when her friends came over and he dropped his so called Supreme Wisdom on them. She wished he would come to Jesus but she knew he never would on the pain of death. So the old man wandered around the house in his madness and diseases although he fought the diseases with all the knowledge he could gather. He stopped eating food, said it was poison, full of toxicity, fertilizer, pesticides, insecticides. He lost a lot of weight, gave his old clothes to a friend.
He drank juices instead of food.
Very little meat bread rice potatoes.
His health improved and his wife changed her diet and lost weight. She told her friends how good she felt. She started trying to tell them some of the supreme wisdom she learned from him. He heard her whispering to her friends the shit he taught her that she appeared to reject. He knew she was hard headed, stiff necked and rebellous.
Easy to lead in the wrong direction hard to lead in the right direction.
He loved his wife and hated her.
She loved her husband and hated him. This is nigga love. Ain't no love like nigga love. In a fit of rage, he told her when he died and she viewed him in his coffin he was going to spit in her face!
--MARVIN X
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