Friday, June 24, 2011
Obama Drama, Scene #3: Interview with Marvin X
Prez, Indeed you are.
Prez, You're right about that.
MX, Prez, It seems to me you give in too quickly, sometimes when it ain't even necessary.
MX, Do you feel like a white man or black man?
MX, C'mon, Prez, do I look like Willie Foofoo?
MX, Between Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan, how many, especially with the collateral damage?
Prez, I'm not aware of them.
MX, Does this include having your friends in Israel do the same?
MX, And Bahrain?
Prez, It's a special case. We have strategic interests there.
Marvin X Writes Obama's Speech to Muslims
I, Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States of America, come before you tonight in the name of Almighty God Allah. We, the America people, are pleased to see the people of North Africa and the Middle East rising up against our long time friends in Tunisia, Libya, Egypt, Yemen and elsewhere.
We know you share our joy with the elimination of the hated terrorist Osama Bin Laden. Even though we created him and supported him, the time came for his removal, even though we were aware he was living in a mansion with his three wives in Pakistan. He served us well, but the time came for his disposal. You know how we handle those who outlive our usefulness, e.g., Saddam Hussein.
We promised a total troop removal from Iraq, but circumstances may prevent this unless it is expedient for my upcoming election. We hope the people of Iraq understand, especially that guy Sadr and his army of the poor in Sadr City who fought with us to no avail.
Our regional partners, namely the Sunni neighbors of Iraq, have warned us not to leave Iraq under a Shia regime, again this will only benefit Iran, the enemy of world peace. Not Israel and certainly not America who is the champion of world peace as you all know throughout the Muslim world, not matter that we are now occupying Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and making inroads into Libya. You may be surprised to learn that it is not the oil we want in Libya but the water. Yes, water will be a precious commodity in the coming days. We pray to Allah you can understand why we do what we do.
Finally, our friends in Pakistan may have some misgivings about the unilateral move we made to eliminate Osama bin Laden, but we want them to get over it and not make any silly moves like seeking revenge with their nuclear option.
I close in the name of peace, As-Salaam-Alaikum.
President Barack Hussein Obama