Monday, July 17, 2017

from the archives--notes on black arts movement theatre by marvin x, poet, playwright

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Shakespeare and Chauncey Bailey

Chauncey Bailey: A Shakespearan Tragedy

On one level, the Chauncey Bailey assassination can be best understood by recalling the drama of classic Shakespeare, Hamlet, Macbeth, King Lear. Many of his plays dealt with succession rights/rites, often involving themes of jealousy, envy, greed and power. Of course these are general themes of humanity, but the man known as Shakespeare wrote about these matters better than others before and after him. In Othello we find a man duped by his friend and advisor, Iago, so confused by the tricknology of Iago that the great Moorish warrior killed his beloved wife Desdemona, then took his own life.

Paul Robeson as Othello, the tragic Moor. 

We can see the parallel in the Chauncey murder. The king dies and there is the fight over which of his twenty sons (there are twenty daughters as well, but this is a patriarchy) shall succeed him. One of the several mothers is determined she and her children should control the empire, but another mother feels the same and moves to secure the throne for her son (s). The first son dies mysteriously in a car-jacking. Her next in line takes over the throne.

Meanwhile, the man who was a dear friend of the king receives information about the succession battle, a piece of dirt that was, for the most part, already public information. But the messenger was sent by his mother-in-law, knowing the message would incite anger in the successor to the throne who was not of her bloodline.

When the message is delivered it is overheard by a former co-wife who immediately relays it to her friend, the wife or widow, whose son has seized control. Apparently she tells her son, the new king, who goes into a rage at his father's friend, not realizing he has been set up by the co-wife who sent the message by her son-in-law.

Iago, Murder under the color of law

Also, the new king's advisor, call him Iago, has deep resentment for the old king's friend, for the friend knows Iago is a devil and has been seeking information to expose him. Iago figures he can dispose of his nemesis by encouraging the boy-king to murder his father's dear friend.

Knowing the boy-king is a hot head, Iago (OPD), suggests the plan and it is carried out. He convinces the boy-king he will go free after his dastardly deed, for Iago claims special powers under the color of law. The boy-king is convinced he can commit innumerable crimes because he is under the protection of Iago. He truly believes Iago can get him out of any situation. Yet Iago has his own motivation for inspiring murder, to stop the old king's friend from a possible exposure of his dark deeds that, now involve the boy-king: money laundering, fencing, drug dealing, homicide, prostitution, etc. The boy-king is in too deep, even after considering that his father had a deep relationship with the man he must now dispose.

The co-wife, now widow, had no idea things would get out of hand but she felt entitled to the empire and was not about to settle for her sister-wife inheriting everything.

After the assassination of the old king's friend, Iago takes control of the crime scene, gathers selected evidence and a confession. He refuses to question eye-witnesses at the crime scene for they are irrelevant, he has accomplished his mission, or shall we say his patsy has.

The boy-king soon realizes he has been set up from two sides, the co-wife and Iago, for different reasons. He realizes his deed has caused the death of his father's friend and the possible death of himself by hanging.

Iago is in the corner laughing, yet worried his mentee may one day disclose all the dirty deeds he was asked to perform for Iago, hence Iago is not home free yet. Now he must configure a way to silence the boy-king. Stay tuned.

Thursday,june 23, 2011e

Call for West Coast Black Arts Theatre Festival

Invited Participants

Sean Vaughn Scott
Ise Lyfe
Geoffery Grier
Michael Lange
Linda Johnson
Ayodele Nzinga
Destiny Muhammad
Tarika Lewis
Thomas Simpson
Donald Lacy
D'wayne Wiggins
Joyce Gordon
Geoffrey Pete

Marvin X Calls Black Arts West Theatre Festival 
Marvin X, godfather of the West Coast Black Arts Movement, is calling a Black Arts West Theatre Festival in honor of Lorraine Hansberry Theatre founders Stanley E. Williams and Quentin Easter, also in honor of Margo Norman, who transitioned recently. Margo performed in the plays of Ed Bullins shortly before he hooked up with Marvin X to establish Black Arts West Theatre in San Francisco's Fillmore District.

Before Black Arts West came on the scene, there was Aldridge Players West, with Adam David Miller, et al. After Black Arts West, there was John Doyle's Grassroots theatre and Michael Cattlett's theatre.

And then came the Lorraine Hansberry. In 1972, Marvin X established Black Educational Theatre in the Fillmore, and in the late 90s, Recovery Theatre in the Tenderloin and throughout the Bay and Northern California. His play One Day in the Life is the longest running play in the history of North American Africans in Northern California. It ran from the late 90s into the new millennium.

Other theatres came and went, and few were able to survive on the meager budgets grant agencies doled out. The Lorraine Hansberry was the exception, partly because of their non-political stance as per the cultural revolution. But when they produced a performance of Marvin X's One Day in the Life, they transcended the apolitical. They'd also produced a work on the Black Panther Party, along with their signature work of August Wilson.

No matter the politics of Stanley and Quentin, and for that matter August Wilson, Marvin X considers them comrades in the arts. Any black artist with an iota of consciousness is all right with me. Actually, I appreciate artists period! Of course I appreciate revolutionary arts even more. But any black artists must have some degree of radical consciousness since he must confront and submit himself to the art of Western mythology.

Even the Lorraine Hansberry theatre brothers told Marvin X, "Marvin, the Black bourgeoisie would like to support you, but they cannot accept your language, if you could only alter your language they will support you." But when Marvin X submitted to the black bourgeoisie request, they did not accept his B script. Even Quentin Easter cried, "Marvin, you have taken all the chocolate out the milk!"

Marvin recalls one night at the Lorraine Hansberry: "The theatre was packed to overflow. Actually, when Stanley came he said, oh, no, this is a fire hazzard! People were seated on the stage."

Usually, I would go into the audience during my monologue, but not this night, the audience was seated onstage for lack of seats. They were from recovery programs from throughout the Bay Area. The Theatre District was horrified when all these recovering addicts took intermission on Sutter Street in the midst of the theatre district.

But more than this, Dr. William H. Grier was in the house. For those who don't know, Dr. William H. Grier is the co-author of Black Rage, the classic psychological study of North American Africans in the 60s. One of his sons is David Allen Grier, but his son Geoffery was playing the role of Black Panther c0-founder Huey P. Newton in my play One Day in the Life.

In truth, Geoffery was never able to match the psychopathic personality of Huey Newton. Even though Geoffery had been a Crack fiend with me in San Francisco's Tenderloin District, he found it difficult to match the psychopathology of Huey Newton.

But Dr. Grier,  the psychiatrist, asked me how I was feeling before the play began.
I responded with a statement that didn't hardly satisfy the doctor. He told his son Geoffery, "I don't know what's wrong with Marvin. He has Mayor Willie Brown introducing his play. He has a packed house. He has a Jaguar car packed outside, yet he's singing the blues."

Dr. Grier, it's called Divine Discontent. In ghetto language, it's called an ungrateful bastard.

No matter, let us put together a Black Arts West Theatre Festival in honor of Stanley Williams, Quentin Easter and Margo Norman, now ancestors in the Black Theatre Movement. Of course, we can never forget Nora Vaughn and her Berkeley Black Repertory Group Theatre.
--Marvin X

Friday, June 17, 2011

Parable for Wannabe Actors, Part One

Parable of the Wannabe Actor 

in memory of Quentin Easter and Stanley E. 
Williams, founders of the Lorraine 
Hansberry Theatre, San Francisco

Kill yourself, everything in you that has nothing to do with the character you are portraying. Kill the way you talk, walk, shit, drink, fuck, laugh, dress. Kill all the reflects you. And even before this murder of the self, you must be sure you know who you are! Are you even aware of how you talk, walk, shit, drink, eat, dress, fuck, shout?

Are you aware of whom you are? How can an actor play Plato Negro when he doesn't know his own true self? He may think he does, but in reality he doesn't because he's living a lie. He is not true to himself. All or most of his life he's been wearing the persona of some sucker he thinks he is or wants to be, even though his true self may be of higher quality than the sucker he's been claiming all his life.

So I ask the actor portraying Plato Negro, why don't you first get to the real you rather than that phony sucker you've been all your life? How can you get to the real me when you have never been to the real you? You may have convinced yourself you're a hustler, playboy, romantic or whatever, when in reality you are an intellectual, a nerd, but you refuse to admit this to yourself because you want to be accepted, though in reality you are being rejected because others can see a deeper you than you can see yourself. And you wonder why you are rejected by those with greater insight into your soul.

The sad truth is that you can't kill yourself because you don't recognize who you are. You can't get to the first step of acting: look in the mirror! Look at photos of yourself. Ask yo mama who you are. Ask your woman or the women you like but don't like you. Ask them why they don't like you, why you turn them off.

Maybe then you will want to kill your old fake self that is not only preventing you from becoming a stage actor but keeping you from acting on the stage called life!

My ancestor John Douimbia, founder of the Black Men's Conference, told me, "Marvin, you write great plays and you've been involved in theatre, but you don't know how to act in real life." I thought about what John D. said and decided to make a few changes in my life.

During my dope addiction, my changed attitude made me a better hustler. I was able to hustle the tourists in San Francisco. I sold them the homeless paper for twenty dollars per copy, or any other paper when I ran out of the homeless paper. I could sell them a roll of toilet paper for twenty dollars! People gave me money simply because they liked my smile. They passed me and made the block to give me bags of money--literally. I told the other brothers hustling with me to do the same and their luck changed immediately. They stopped coming on the street looking mean and evil at the white people.

Once the actor kills himself completely and totally, he is ready to don the persona of the character he wants to portray. Now some actors are under the grand illusion they can give their version of a character. No! Fuck "You." Your version is essentially you. It has nothing to do with the character. If you are going to portray a character, you must absolutely and totally transcend yourself, becoming 100% the character: you talk, walk, eat, drink, dress, laugh, cry, sing, dance, fuck, love, hate, as he does. You are no longer you, you are him, down to the minutest detail, if you are claiming to be an actor and striving to be a great actor.
--Marvin X

Marvin X began his actor career as a child at the recreation center in West Oakland, later in high school in the play Dino, made famous by Sal Mineo. His co-star was poet/critic Shereley A. Williams (rip).

His first play Flowers for the Trashman was produced by the drama department at San Francisco State University, 1965. Before founding the Black Panther Party, Bobby Seale was the leader actor in Marvin's second play Come Next Summer. Marvin performed the role of Clay in Amiri Baraka's The Dutchman. His co-star was Hurriyah Asar as Lula (in white face, as per the BAM tradition). The Dutchman was performed at Fresno State University, circa 1967.

Along with playwright Ed Bullins, he established Black Arts West Theatre in San Francisco's Fillmore District, 1966, (actor Danny Glover performed there) later worked with Ed at the New Lafayette Theatre in Harlem, New York. Marvin, Ed Bullins, Eldridge Cleaver and Hurriyah Asar established the Black House in San Francisco, a political cultural center that became the center of poetry, drama and political activity in San Francisco during 1967. Associates of the Black House included Amiri and Amina Baraka, Askia Toure, Sarah Webster Fabio, Avotcja, Sonia Sanchez, Emory Douglas, Samuel Napier, Little Bobby Hutton, Bobby Seale and Huey Newton. Black House later became the San Francisco headquarters of the Black Panther Party.

He taught drama at Fresno State University, University of California, Berkeley, Mills (Woman--Man's Best Friend, musical) and Laney College (In the Name of Love, musical).

He established Black Educational Theatre in San Francisco's Fillmore, 1972, working with San Ra's Arkestra and choreographer Raymond Sawyer (Resurrection of the Dead, a myth-ritual musical with Babatunde Lea and Plunky).

Sun Ra arranged music for Take Care of Business, the musical version of Flowers for the Trashman. Recovery Theatre was established in 1996, after producing his play One Day in the Life nationwide, in New York at Sista's Place and the Brecht Forum, in Newark at Baraka's Kimako's. On the west coast it was performed at the Malonga Center, the Lorraine Hansberry theatre and Recovery Theatre in San Francisco's Tenderloin. One Day in the Life is the docudrama of his addiction and recovery.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Parable for Wannabe Actors, Part Two

Parable of the Wannabe Actor, Part Two 
A great actor once said, and it may have been Sir Lawrence Oliver, "The best part of theatre is getting drunk after the show." I agree totally with him. I would never get drunk before the show or during the show (some actors are known and have been sound recorded entering the dressing room after a scene to take a nip).

I want full concentration before going on stage. Now this may be most difficult if the actor is also director and/or producer, as he must deal with his cast and their myriad psycho-artistic issues.
But I will do my best to focus on my time on stage, especially if it is a monologue, for I will not follow the script under any circumstances, well, I may follow the basic script, but one reason I want to focus beforehand is because I know I am not going to follow the script, but at the same time I have no idea whatsoever what I'm going to say, except that I am determined never to say the same thing twice, similar to the jazz musician who never plays the tune the same way, ever.

I would die if I had to follow the script each night without any changes whatsoever, but as I say, one must give respect to the other actors who may have ques, thus the basic text must be followed at certain points, at least when another actor is about to enter, otherwise you throw them off.

Now as actor/director/producer, one can say to hell with the other actors, though this is the height of arrogance and disrespect, for actors value and treasure their moment on stage, so there must be humility, even when the actor is also director/producer, meaning he has put the most time, energy and effort into the production, also writer. Thus, he has written the script, carved himself a part, raised the money for the production, directed it, so, yes, he is apt to be a bit arrogant, especially is the other actors sole input is to enter on stage to say their lines, then exit.

They have not promoted the show, sold one ticket, or invited anyone, including their mama, to the show. At the same time they want equal billing on promotional material, including posters, radio and television ads, etc.

So, yes, the best part of theatre for me is getting drunk after. Alone! Not Amiri Baraka style socializing at some restaurant and/or bar after the show. No, let me ease out the side door and slip home, no bar watered down drinks, no small talk with VIP theatre Negroes. Let me go to my hotel room and get drunk in peace. After all, I was on stage baring my soul, telling all and beyond all, why do you want to suck me dry, cannot I save a little of myself for myself?

Let me get drunk alone, the applause was fine, I loved it. I loved that it was a packed house, so packed people were sitting on the stage, in the aisle, but now I want to come down, no autographs, no smiles, leave me alone, I've given my all. Por favor! Basta ya!
--Marvin X

Friday, June 24, 2011

Obama Drama, Scene #3: Interview with Marvin X

fictional--Marvin X Interviews President Obama

Marvin X, Thank you Mr. President for agreeing to meet with me.

Prez, The pleasure is all mine. I've been reading your blogs and find them quite interesting.

MX, I hope you don't say what Minister Farrakhan said about my comments on him.

Prez, What did he say?

MX, He said I raked him over the coals.

Prez, I agree with Minister Farrakhan. You can be quite hard hitting.

MX, They call me the sledgehammer.

Prez, Indeed you are.

MX, Call it tough love.

Prez, OK.

MX, Furthermore, I supported you wholeheartedly from the beginning. You obviously haven't seen my book Pull Yo Pants Up fada Black Prez and Yoself.

Prez, No I haven't.

MX, But I must agree with our mutual friend Dr. Cornell West. I'm sure you are aware that he said we must protect you, respect you, but check you.

Prez, Yes, I heard his remarks. And you know what I said, "You brothers need to cut me some slack."

MX, Prez, you don't need slack. You need us riding your back like Roy Rogers on Trigger.

Prez, Don't you think I have enough pressure on me?

MX, Well, I once forced the resignation of the president of Fresno State University. Well, actually he said he was pressured from above (Gov. Ronald Reagan) and below (student protests after the college refused to hire me). So we see you are the type of guy who must be pressured from above and below, from the right and the left.

Prez, How much pressure you think a person in my position can take?

MX, You got Mechelle to chill you out!

Prez, You're right about that.

MX, But I wrote about her putting a foot in your ass when you get weak.

Prez, I don't think that's necessary

MX, Well, you seem to capitulate at every turn. You call it the nature of politics, of course.

Prez, Well, I certainly don't call it capitulation. That's a bit harsh. I try to negotiate and compromise with my opposition.

MX, Prez, It seems to me you give in too quickly, sometimes when it ain't even necessary.

Prez, Marvin, it's the nature of the beast I'm dealing with.

MX, Ever heard of playing hardball? I mean I was happy you got the health insurance plan through but at what price, selling out to the insurance lobby?

Prez, I don't call it selling out, it was compromise, the best we could do under the circumstances.

MX, Prez, why have you not created a jobs program? You bailed out the banks and corporations but not the people, why?

Prez, Marv, you know I have a most difficult job and we tried a stimulus package, and it worked to some extent.

MX, But, Prez, there are still millions of unemployed. Yet at the same time you are promising terrorist jobs in Iraq and Afghanistan if they lay down their arms. Should the American unemployed take up arms to get your attention?

Prez, Marv, please, what are you suggesting, revolution?

MX, If that's what it takes to get you to consider the consent of the governed. Is not the first priority of this nation the people, not corporations and banks?

Prez, Well, corporations are people now.

MX, Prez, you know what I mean.

Prez, Of course.

MX, How can you provide funds for educating, housing and employing terrorists abroad but not at home? It just doesn't make sense, Mr. Prez.

Prez, You're right, Marv.

MX, Now you're getting ready to raise one billion dollars to keep your job, but you can't find a few billion for the millions of unemployed

Prez, You're right, Marv. I can do better. Let me regroup with my advisers and think about it.

MX, Yeah, Prez, I want to support you reelection but I find it most difficult. And the brothers on the street as well. They were happy when you won, they said it was great to know they could look up to someone besides a rapper. But lately they are saying fuck you, Mr. Prez.

Prez, I'm sorry to hear that.

MX, You should know this is what they're saying, Fuck you!

Prez, I often wonder about the mood in the hood.

MX, You should wonder before something terrible happens to your country because of your neglect and misplaced priorities. Can I ask you something personal?

Prez, Go for it!

MX, Do you feel like a white man or black man?

Prez, Well, when I'm with Mechelle, I feel black. When I'm with my Secretary of State, Hilliary, I feel white.

MX, I thought Hillary was black, along with her husband, Dirty Bill.

Prez, Marv, let's not name call, please.

MX, OK. On a more serious matter, how long did you know Osama bin Laden was in Pakistan?

Prez, We had him under surveillance for some time.

MX, Years, months?

Prez, a long time.

MX, Should I congratulate you for slaying the dragon?

Prez, That's up to you.

MX, Well, you probably deserve a feather in your cap. A couple of Brownie points.

Prez, Marv, thanks.

MX, But, Prez, where's the body?

Prez, We threw it in the ocean.

MX, C'mon, Prez, do I look like Willie Foofoo?

Prez, Marv, we did, trust me.

MX, Prez, I'm an ex-dope fiend. I know how people lie.

Prez, Marv, are you calling me a liar?

MX, I didn't say that, Prez, but my elder, Dr. Nathan Hare, taught the fictive theory. Everything the white man (and black man or white/black man) says is fiction until proven to be a fact. Where are the facts, Prez?

Prez, Marv, trust me. We thought it best to dispose of the body in the ocean.

MX, But who's going for this, Prez, it sounds shaky.

Prez, We concluded that was the best way to end the matter of a man who murdered three thousand Americans.

MX, Prez, how many Muslims have you murdered since you became President?

Prez, I can't answer that.

MX, Between Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan, how many, especially with the collateral damage?

Prez, Can't answer that. It was all in defense of America.

MX, Is a few ignorant men living in mountain caves really a threat to America?

Prez, They can be.

MX, C'mon, Prez. Let's change the channel. What happened with the closing of Gitmo?

Prez, We tried but couldn't pull it off.

MX, What about the secret prisons in America?

Prez, I'm not aware of them.

MX, Maybe you should check with homeland security?

Prez, Our priority is the safety of Americans.

MX, Does this include murdering American citizens rather than bringing them to trial?

Prez, Not necessarily.

MX, What about the man in Yemen you are trying to kill who is an American citizen?

Prez, He's a special case.

MX, But he's an American.

Prez, Marv, don't press the issue.

MX, That's exactly what I'm doing.

Prez, Don't press it, Marv.

MX, Let's discuss the Middle East for a moment. I've written about your speech in Cairo and Indonesia. I've imagined what you will say about Muslims tomorrow, May 19. You know as long as you occupy one inch of Muslim land there shall be Muslims who view you as a Crusader and they will vow to fight you to the death.

Prez, Marv, I'm aware how Muslims feel about us occupying their lands. And we plan to vacate all Muslim lands at the earliest possible date.

MX, Does this include having your friends in Israel do the same?

Prez, Well, that's a matter for the Israelis, not us.

MX, But you are their very best friend. You support them right or wrong, true?

Prez, I wouldn't say that. But we have an enduring relationship.

MX, Don't you see the day is rapidly arriving when they cannot claim to be the only democracy in the area, that they will bow down to the God of Justice, not peace but justice?

Prez, Events are rapidly changing in North Africa and the Middle East. Therefore we must all make a paradigm shift in our thinking and behavior, including Israel.

MX, What about your friends in Saudi Arabia?

Prez, They will need to make substantial changes as well.

MX, And Bahrain?
Prez, It's a special case. We have strategic interests there.

MX, You seem to be saying America practices selective suffering. You now support the Egyptian revolution, the Tunisian, Yemen, but not in Saudi Arabia or Israel, Jordan, Bahrain.

Prez, Marv, we have our interests that must be secured first.

MX, What if and when these nations explode in your face, overnight, as is happening as we speak. Seems like you'll be running after the football or playing catchup?

Prez, We'll do what we must when we must.

MX, Thank you, Mr. Prez.

--Marvin X

Marvin X Writes Obama's Speech to Muslims
I, Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States of America, come before you tonight in the name of Almighty God Allah. We, the America people, are pleased to see the people of North Africa and the Middle East rising up against our long time friends in Tunisia, Libya, Egypt, Yemen and elsewhere.

Of course we instituted a no fly zone over Libya but it is most difficult to do the same in Gaza. The recent unity of Hamas and the Palestinian Authority is nice but simply not in the interests of our dear friends in Israel, nor is it in the long term strategic interests of America and her friends throughout the region, especially our brothers in the House of Saud.

While we endorse the cries for freedom in Tunisia, Libya, Egypt and Yemen, we cannot support the people in Bahrain. We suspect they are simply agents for Iran and therefore we cannot support their cries for freedom. We have no plans of moving our Fifth Fleet from Bahrain, especially since it is a counterweight to Iranian provocations. We therefore endorse the sending of Saudi troops to crush the Shia uprisings in Bahrain.

As per Saudi Arabia, we love democracy but it is simply not in our interests to have the Saudi regime destabilized because of a few unhappy citizens, again, many of them are agents of Iran, especially those Saudi women who want to drive cars.

As per Iran, we call for democracy in that nation, even though we accept full responsibility for overthrowing the democratically elected leader, Mossedeq, and installing the Shah who oppressed his people for many years.

We know you share our joy with the elimination of the hated terrorist Osama Bin Laden. Even though we created him and supported him, the time came for his removal, even though we were aware he was living in a mansion with his three wives in Pakistan. He served us well, but the time came for his disposal. You know how we handle those who outlive our usefulness, e.g., Saddam Hussein.

We promised a total troop removal from Iraq, but circumstances may prevent this unless it is expedient for my upcoming election. We hope the people of Iraq understand, especially that guy Sadr and his army of the poor in Sadr City who fought with us to no avail.

Our regional partners, namely the Sunni neighbors of Iraq, have warned us not to leave Iraq under a Shia regime, again this will only benefit Iran, the enemy of world peace. Not Israel and certainly not America who is the champion of world peace as you all know throughout the Muslim world, not matter that we are now occupying Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and making inroads into Libya. You may be surprised to learn that it is not the oil we want in Libya but the water. Yes, water will be a precious commodity in the coming days. We pray to Allah you can understand why we do what we do.

As per Afghanistan, we have promised the Taliban if they lay down their arms, we will give them schooling, housing and employment. We wish we could offer the same to our boys and girls in the hoods of America who are terrorizing their communities with drugs and guns, but our budget crisis will not allow education, housing and jobs for the boys and girls in the hood, although we can do this for the Taliban. As you know we did this in Iraq and this was the real cause of the decrease in violence, not the socalled surge of Baghdad under General Betrayus.

As you know, General Betrayus will be taking over the Central Intelligence Agency. We appreciate his role in prolonging the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. We feel he has been successful in routing the 100 to 500 Al Quida in Afghanistan, especially after we sent him thirty thousand additional troops.

Finally, our friends in Pakistan may have some misgivings about the unilateral move we made to eliminate Osama bin Laden, but we want them to get over it and not make any silly moves like seeking revenge with their nuclear option.

I close in the name of peace, As-Salaam-Alaikum.
President Barack Hussein Obama

Friday, June 24, 2011

Obama Drama: Scene #1: 

Speech on Afghanistan

A fictional speech by President Obama on Troop Withdrawal 
from Afghanistan

Good evening, my fellow Americans. You some silly motherfuckers. Do you think I'm gonna bring a bunch of troops home from Afghanistan when my generals tell me they can make a few more billion dollars if we keep the troop level up. I'm not gonna do that, hell naw. As long as my name is Barack Hussein Obama. Yes, who sane Obama, but you insane if you think the thirty thousand troops I sent over there to kill those mountain goats are coming home anytime soon.

Oh, I might bring home two or three thousand, mostly the wounded with their brains shot out, those with no legs, no arms, we'll send them home, but you know it takes 30 thousand to capture or kill 100 to 500 Al Quida, yes, do the math, 30 thousand men at the cost of one million dollars each--now we don't pay them damn fool grunts no million dollars, but the generals get most of it for their retirement and when they come home to set up defense related corporations. You know the drill, don't you? You know politics and capitalism is dirty, filthy and funky like a ghetto ho. Hee hee hee. vote for me, I'll set you free!

You know we gotta take care of our generals, since they protect us round the world so you dumb somebitches can ride around in your SUVs, playing soccer mom and your husbands can ride through the ghetto at night picking up little black girls for prostitution. Now if you fuck with my little girls, I'm coming after that ass like I did that boy, our boy, Osama bin Laden.

Yes, I got that motherfucker. Hell, it was close to election time so I had to do something. Shot that motherfucker between the eyes and had my boys fuck his three wives fore we got outta Pakistan.

Back to Afghanistan. It is ten billion dollars a month to chase them mountain goats up and down them fuckin mountains, some ten thousand feet to twelve thousand feet up. But we makin progress so we can't leave now. Too much money involved and too much dope. Karzai and his brother is dealing too much dope and it's too good to cut and run now, except for a little drawn down fore election time, hee hee hee. Vote for me, I'll set you free, you dumb motherfuckers, especially my nigguhs.

How ma nigguhs doing in da hood? Ya'll still got yo shirt on, pants? I know you ain't got no job, ain't got no house, but you know I had to help my boys on Wall Street. I ain't stupid now, hell, I'm a Harvard nigguh, my nigguhs. Gotta help my brotherhood of thieves and robbers. If ya'll stop going to prison and come to Harvard, we'll show you how to be real criminals.

And they lettin all nigguhs and poor people into Harvard for free, what's wrong wit ya nigguhs? Get yo ass out dem prison cells and come to Harvard so you can be trained to be a real criminal. Look, we ain't gonnna keep payin no $200,000 a year to keep you little snotty nose motherfuckers in juvenile hall. We go put you in Harvard. I'll talk to my man Skip Gates bout giving you a little black studies, none of dat radical shit, some miller lite shit, but I want you to major in crime, how to rob motherfuckers in broad daylight, cheat people out da homes, jobs, take everything, don't leave a motherfucker nothing. Take his wife too. Hee hee hee, vote for me, I'll set ya free!

Back to Afghanistan. I told them mountain goats if they lay down their arms I will pay for them to go to school, get them housing and get them jobs. But them motherfuckers too dumb, can't count to ten. They can fight like hell when they wanna, but they don't want no schoolin, remind me of you nigguhs in da hood. But they worse than you nigguhs, these mountain goats won't even let the women go to school, lease you boyz in da hood ain't dat stupid. Vote fa me, I'll set ya free.

Now you boyz and girls in da hood might wonder why I don't give you motherfuckers jobs if you lay down yo guns and stop terrorizing you mama, daddy, grandpa and grandma, yo woman and babies, yes, you nigguhs is killing yo babies too--sometimes ya'll bad as them mountain goats bombing everything with they good suicide asses. Talkin bout they go get some virgins in Paradise. Do the women get dicks in Paradise? Hee, hee hee. Vote fa me, I'll set ya free!!!!

Let me finish this bullshit speech up so I can hit my cigarette, maybe a little one on one too. Mechelle make me go to a special little room she fixed up for me in the White House to do my thang. You know how them bitches is, always wanna fix up some shit fa a man. Bitch, I'm the motherfuckin Prez, bitch! Better leave me the fuck alone and take care of dem guls and yo mama.

Back to Afghanistan. We go bring home two or three thousand troops and don't fuck with me about it. Matter of fact, kiss my black yellow ass, especially you Republicans and that Cornel West bitch! American people, good night. Prosperity is just around the corner, soon a chicken in every pot. Hee hee hee. Vote for me, I'll set you free!

--Marvin X


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